


Comfort.

by duaa



Series: everything i wanted [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit Sanders-centric, M/M, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, ayo, dee is just... unwanted, hinting at logan x remus, implied deceit x remus, past virgil x deceit, soz boye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23325598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: The dark sides were all revealed and accepted. Virgil, Remus... Deceit(?). They were all living in harmony and were all wanted.Deceit always knew when people were lying.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: everything i wanted [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677451
Comments: 18
Kudos: 170





	Comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> if you like this, you'll wanna read Just Enough.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/22816177
> 
> ;)

It was nine in the morning and Deceit was suffering. His curtains seemed to glow due to the light streaming behind them, illuminating the room enough for Deceit to wake up. He stared at his heavy blanket, pushed to one side of his queen bed as he lay bare, exposed. Was he cold? Not really. Summer was almost here, so no, he was not cold. He still felt uncomfortable; squirming around to see if anything felt as comfortable as the bliss of sleeping under weighted blankets. He tried summoning those - but the moment he drifted off, they disappeared. Only Remus (and Roman) could conjure things permanently. He didn’t ask Remus, it wasn’t _that_ needed. Besides, he barely saw Remus these days. He was too busy hanging around the light mindspace. Acceptance was a good look on Remus, he had to admit. He supposed he, too, was accepted. As a part of a bargain deal. 

Take one, get one free. 

But he knew when he was wanted, and when he wasn’t - and Deceit had no plans of overstaying his welcome. He was tolerated everyday for a few hours: from breakfast to lunch. A routine he quickly settled into. Wake up. Writhe in bed. Go upstairs to the light mindspace. Eat one slice of toast. (??). Eat lunch. Come back home. The hardest part was his existence after eating breakfast - sometimes he would sit and stare. Stare at the TV, stare at his phone, stare at his gloves, stare at the sky. More often than not, stare at whatever it was Thomas was doing, the only thing that made it seem like he was around for a reason. He always felt... useless, staring at random things. 

From ten to twelve, he just... stared at things. This was not his home, he had nothing to do here. So he endured the awkward silence like clockwork, silently thinking. Silently wishing. He wished this never happened. He wished he hadn’t pushed his luck too far. Wished he hadn’t sent Virgil to go annoy the light sides. Wished he hadn’t revealed himself. He wished Remus didn’t reveal himself. Wished the light sides weren’t as nice as they were. 

Except with Deceit - they had no qualms being rude. Whatever. Water off a duck’s back. He wasn’t Roman’s twin brother, nor was he looking for a new family. Or just a family. ~~Since he didn’t have one anymore.~~

So he writhed in bed, trying to find a peace of mind. After failing, he got out of bed and went about his usual business, the eerie silence that graced the whole mindspace now familiar. He felt like the loser of a divorce, losing his kids and house to Karen. He donned his hat when he realised his hair was growing out long. Virgil used to cut their hair. Then Remus insisted he carried on the tradition. Deceit’s own hands were shaky. He could change it with a snap of his fingers, but what was the point? It was, after all, his own hair. He could whatever he wanted to. 

He rose up, in his usual spot, at his usual time. He made his toast and ate it. A satisfactory meal, worthy of royalty. Patton had been cooking his pancakes. Virgil was sitting on the other side of the dining table, ignoring Deceit like he always did. He could hear Remus and Logan laughing upstairs. Roman slept in late. Thomas himself was in the shower. Deceit had nothing to do, except chew his cardboard as slow as he could. Each bite needed to take up as much time it could. One time he tried to leave after eating. Patton made such a big deal about it - some how making Deceit feel like an insolent brat. One time he decided not to show up. The amount of questions he had to endure was not worth it. He always stuck to his routine after that. 

Today, however, was a bit different. They were discussing the next video for the series. He knew he had no role in it, but those discussions usually took up hours, so he wasn’t just hovering around. When Logan came down, he announced as such. Five minutes from then (in which he finished his scrumptious meal and drank a glass of water after inspecting it for some time), everyone gathered around in the commons, Remus grinned at him, eyes glittering and a pang of hurt wreaked havoc on his heart. Mustering up an excuse of a smile, he turned his gaze elsewhere, not eager for that to happen again. 

“So the next video is going to feature Roman and Patton, as was established last week. Virgil and I shall play supporting roles. Remus, Deceit, unfortunately, there are no lines in the script for either of you.” Logan rattled off from his notebook, checking each thing off. 

Remus pouted ~~holy shit he missed Remus so so so so much~~ and looked up at Logan. “Aw! Why can’t I be in the endscreen card thing?” 

Virgil sighed. “No one said you can’t, Rem.”

Rem? Rem? Deceit knew they were rebuilding their bond - he didn’t know they were this close now. Rem. 

“Precisely. That is, and always has been, something we decided at the end.” 

Patton clapped his hands, “Maybe we should do that first this time! If not filming it, just deciding who would be in the end-“

“Oh! Thank you, Patton! I knew you would always have my back!”

Ouch. 

Roman and Logan exchanged glances, their expressions mirroring each other. “Well... I guess we could do that? Logan?”

“Uh... why not? So the endscreen shall have Remus and...?” Logan looked up at Deceit, raising his eyebrows at him. 

Nope. No. Nuh uh. This would be torture. He decided to stare right back at him. 

Roman made a rolling gesture with his hand, looking slightly irritated. “Well? Will you do the honours?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” He shook his head. He knew this was when he was supposed to come up with some sort of witty quip. Was it worth it, though? 

Remus looked at him, head tilted to one side. “Why not, Dee?”

Dee. He didn’t know he was still ‘Dee’. Maybe it was force of habit. After four months of being ignored, he couldn’t see why or how he was still ‘Dee’. 

He raised an eyebrow in response and Remus shrugged. The rest of the conversation carried on and Deceit successfully blanked through out the whole thing. He imagined he was at a cinema, watching a boring movie. He came back to Earth just as Logan concluded the meeting. He got up, watching as everyone did the same, before scattering around to do their job. Right then. Just lunch. Then he would be free. 

Making his way towards the kitchen, he saw Logan and Remus talking. Logan laughed at something Remus said as Remus bounced on his feet. Suddenly the thought of witnessing more of this made him feel quite sick. He caught Patton and explained to him that he couldn’t stay for lunch. 

“Oh. Well, if you’re sure! I’ll leave some leftovers in the fridge for you!” 

He didn’t expect to get off this easily - not that he was complaining. It was just usually hard to do something without Patton fussing about it. Maybe he would make some spaghetti for himself. A nice idea. His spirits were almost close to being lifted when he caught Virgil’s eye. The other winced a bit before moving on closer to Logan and Remus.

Sinking out, he didn’t miss how Remus and Logan seemed to be gazing into each other’s eyes.

***

“Dee!” Remus grabbed his shoulder, his hand burning through Deceit’s clothes. “You’re leaving?”

He didn’t dare look up at Remus’ face. “As you can see.”

“But we’re filming the video!” He turned Deceit around, forcing him to look at Remus. He looked... happy. Healthy. The eyeshadow around his eyes did not blend into the grey dark circles he used to have. His smile was wider and always reached his eyes. Deceit could only guess what he looked like; sad, pathetic and pasty white. He knew his scales stuck out more due to the stark difference, his hair was almost long enough to be tied up. His hands shook even more than ever and he was almost always either shivering or sweating. He could barely sleep, barely eat, barely exist. 

But Remus was thriving. “So?” Remus was thriving with Logan and Virgil, with his brother and so-called father. There was no place for someone who was stuck in the past, an ugly reminder of his life before he was free. There was no place for Deceit. 

“I thought you’d stick around!”

Stick around. Of course, he’ll just stick around, watch someone he loved move on. Again. Of course he’ll stick around, he didn’t have anything else to do anyway, just mope around and clean things. 

He shrugged in response, something he found himself doing whenever he had no real response to anything, something he knew infuriated everyone else. Remus’ shoulders slumped as he frowned. 

“Why are you being so... secluded, Dee? It’s like there’s a plug up your butt!” He blurted out, putting both hands on his shoulders.

Deceit knew he should be outraged right now, should be yelling and screaming about how he was the one left behind. He should finally let put his feelings, cry until his throat was raw. But all he did was blink at Remus. 

“Oh my holy shit, Dee what the fuck dude? Say something, it’s like your tongue was pulled out with a rusty tong!” 

A lump formed in his throat. He just wanted... he didn’t even know what he wanted. Right now, he was going to cry if he didn’t make it back to room, but it did not look like Remus got the hint. 

“Let me go.” He managed to get out, the words getting caught in his throat and coming out warbled. His eyes were stinging, a tell tale sign that soon they would be brimming with tears. Remus stared at him, his grip going slack. He opened his mouth, taking a step closer. 

“Deceit, what - “

“Rem.” When did Virgil get here? “Just let him go if he wants to.”

He cleared his throat. He couldn’t be seen crying here, he... fuck, he just didn’t want to be seen crying anywhere. Shrugging Remus’ hands off of him, he looked at them one last time. Remus looked confused, brow furrowed up as he bit his lip. Virgil looked at the floor, face shadowed. 

As he sunk out, he heard Remus walking away, calling out to Logan.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like it ! lmk of you see a typo 💕💞


End file.
